Death is generally not regarded as a welcome visitor. Yet we all know Death is waiting for us and will be there at some unexpected moment. In other words, we all live with a death sentence hanging over our heads from the moment we are born into this world. Life is what happens while we wait for Death.

At nearly 58 years of age I have seen many of my people die. Well not literally, but I have been to many funerals of both family and friends. We are currently waiting for Death to finalize the loss of our sister Sue Trabert and that is what prompted this rather morbid post.

Susan Jane Trabert was born April 26, 1960; the last child born to parents Mildred Hope (Puchner) and Leo Paul Trabert. She was preceded in birth by three brothers: Michael Paul born 1953, Charles John born 1955, and John Eric born 1958. Life was good for awhile.

In 1975 at age 15, Sue was diagnosed with Friedreich’s ataxia after noticeable heaviness in her feet and legs.  Her loud footsteps alerted her mother that something wasn’t right, and thus began her life-long struggle with this disease and the havoc it caused in her small body.

On Monday, February 7, 2011, Sue apparently choked on some food while eating her breakfast. It had become increasingly difficult for her to swallow yet she refused to eat “mush” or pureed foods. She was determined to live her life as “normally” as possible  and had ample German stubbornness and a temper which fully supported her adamant refusal to do as she was told.

The lovely group home she lived in had only one aid on duty that morning and when she discovered Sue had stopped breathing she initiated CPR and called 911. The paramedics arrived and continued resuscitation then ferried her to the nearest hospital for immediate attention.  And although Sue had placed a  ’do not resuscitate’ order on herself for any hospitalization, this wish was not known or followed on Monday morning.

After testing and consults it was determined that Sue had suffered extensive brain damage and had lost all cognitive function. She was on full life support in ICU without hope of regaining any level of consciousness. She was in a vegetative state and her already contorted dysfunctional body would have to be tube fed and could remain in suspended animation indefinitely.

The feeling in the immediate family was that Sue would not want to have her body kept alive if she was no longer present.  I believe she left her body on that Monday and is now free. Her brothers and we two sisters-in-law gathered at her bedside on Wednesday morning and notified the ICU staff of our wishes to turn off all the machines keeping her alive. Later in the day she was extubated. After assessing her continuing body functions she was moved to another floor under palliative care and as of this writing her body continues functioning.

Sue trained her body to survive the many surgeries, the strokes, the heart problems, the diabetes, the bowel resection and colostomy, and all the other problems which accompanied her underlying disease. It is no surprise that her body continues to survive even after she has gone.

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Update:  Susan Jane Trabert passed away on Tuesday evening, February 15, 2011.

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Life is part of death just as death is part of life. We gather and remember. We comfort each other. We share our stories and listen to others. We laugh and cry and appreciate our time together.

When death interrupts our daily routine life changes immediately. Getting back to “normal” doesn’t seem to happen easily. Waiting for death was in some ways harder than the end of life.  And even knowing there was no hope, having her body “alive” was not as bad as having the word that death finally came.